Zero Patience
by Felix3D
Summary: A snippet grab bag of Touhou meets Zero no Tsukiama. Newest Updates: Ch 18- Inusakuya, Ch 19 - Okuu: Some Summons Just Want to See the World Burn. - Warning: Snips have just been reordered, and some of my earlier work is being re-written.
1. EienTewi 1

When the dust cleared, some... thing was in the crater.

At first it looked like a young girl, similar to Louise in size and stature. Yet on her head, two fluffy ears, like a stuffed rabbit's, sat on her head and her feet were white paws, dispelling any notions that she was _human_. Even the trinkets and clothes she wore seemed strange. The simple sundress was made of a simple pink cloth that looked much finer in thread than even Louise's own clothes, while the chain necklace with curious carrot adornment had similar fine detail done on it, despite it being what seemed to be more common metal.

This... beast-girl merely looked around inquisitively as she shook off the shock of the summoning. Louise could already hear the laughter and ridicule start again, only this time it seemed hesitant, much like how she felt about completing the ritual. It only got worse when the thing that was supposed to be her familiar focused on her and locked gazes.

And then it smirked.

_Usagi, usagi, nani wo mite haneru?  
__Juugoya no tsuki dake ja monotarinai.  
__Yoru ni tobidashite tsuki to odorou.  
__Nemurenai, utage wa mada mada kore kara!_

"TEWI!" Louise didn't know what to do. Her familiar, her... rabbit... thing... just wouldn't stop the pranks! Not only that, but even the most innocent words or phrase her familiar uttered felt like a threat to one person or another. And now she (once again) could not find that dratted "Youkai"!

"Tewi. Tewi. TEWI!"

_Ra ra~ Usagi, usagi, nani wo mite haneru?  
__Juugoya no tsuki dake ja monotarinai.  
__Yoru ni tobidashite tsuki to odorou.  
__Mou dare mo ga tomerarenai tomaranai!_

"Tewi" ***smack*** "you" ***smack*** "will" ***smack*** "Listen!" ***smack*** "To" ***smack*** "Me!"

After (another) embarrassment by her familiar, Louise had no choice but to bring out the riding crop to punish Tewi. As she whipped the rabbit's hindquarters the young mage delivered her lecture between strokes.

"Never!" ***smack*** "Do" ***smack*** "That" ***smack*** "Again!" ***smack***

_*Moan*_

Stopping at the sound her familiar made, anger slowly turning into a reddening of the cheeks, Louise hesitantly asked, "Do you have anything to say, Tewi?" ***smack***

_*moan*_ "That... oooh that's starting to feel... soooo oh _oh OH! _... good."

"Bwhaf.. ach...argh.. WHA?" ***OOMPH***

By the time Louise caught her breath after having her stomach kicked, her familiar was long gone, and the door to her room was open... with Siesta, Kirche, and Tabitha all staring in and looking flushed.

"I never knew you were... so... _deviant_..."

Louise could only sputter while she stared at her bitter rival and replied, "Murghle.." *thud*

_Kagome, kagome, kago no naka no tori wa.  
__Itsu, itsu deyaru? Ushiro no shoumen dare?  
__Kagome, kagome, kago no naka no tori wa.  
__Itsu, itsu deyaru? Ushiro no shoumen dare?_

"I didn't expect you to be able to break into here."

"What did you expect? I'm the lucky white rabbit. I can manipulate luck."

"I must ask for you to leave without taking anything of value."

"Don't worry, I already got the thing I needed, old man."

20 minutes later, Old Osmond checked the inventory and found nothing missing from the Academy's vaults. Instead, there was an extra scroll.

On it were the words "I got your respect. And your Fear. That's all I need."

_Ra ra~ Usagi, usagi, nani wo mite haneru?  
__Juugoya no tsuki dake ja monotarinai.  
__Yoru ni tobidashite tsuki to odorou.  
__Saa, minna, te wo furiage tsuitekoi!_

Part 1 of Tewi's summoning. Reference: Eien Tewi, from Sekken-ya.


	2. EienTewi 2

"Tewi, are you alright!"

Barely making a pained expression Tewi dodged the fussing of her master and instead began looking over the little girl that she now considered as a little kit.

"Stabbed. Hurt." The quiet blue-haired girl gently pulled her back with her staff. Even with all the scrapes and bruises everyone had, they all crowded around the Rabbit-girl as her Master begun her inspection. As cloth was moved out of the way, everyone had a deep, sharp breath as they saw Tewi's stab wound.

"Don't worry!" she said, with a smile, "It's not that bad. This won't kill me."

Louise was livid. "DON'T WORRY? You were STABBED! Through and through! How can this not be that bad?" Tewi was technically "lucky" (as she often claimed to be), because she managed to save Wales's life by take the brunt of the attack meant for him, though it did not save him from serious injury. But at the same time, it was done by allowing herself to be hurt in his place before kicking, literally _kicking,_ Wardes's head clean off.

Tewi just chuckled. "It's not as bad as having your skin flayed off and then being bathed in salt water and sand. Trust me."

When she looked back on that day, Tewi would admit that everyone's horrified looks were worth it.

_Kagome, kagome, kago no naka no tori wa.  
Itsu, itsu deyaru? Ushiro no shoumen dare?  
Kagome, kagome, kago no naka no tori wa.  
Itsu, itsu deyaru? Ushiro no shoumen dare?_

"Kagome, kagome, kago no naka no tori wa.  
Itsu, itsu deyaru? Ushiro no shoumen dare?"

"What are you singing?"

It was night at the Valliere estate. Louise had just found her familiar singing to the moonlit sky outside of her window. After the day's ordeals with dealing with her family, the pinkette was too exhausted to do much out, yet sleep still eluded her.

Her familiar stopped and turned. "It's a children's poem from my world. Here, let me translate it for you." Reaching out towards her master, she gently pulled the young mage close. "Stand here, and look at the moon."

Hesitantly, Louise agreed. "Alright."

"Kagome, kagome, the bird inside the cage.  
When will you come out? Who is the person behind you?  
Kagome, kagome, the bird inside the cage.  
When will you come out?  
Who... is... the..."

"EEEP! TEWI!"

Entranced by the sky and Tewi's song, Louise felt herself calm and almost drift off to sleep, before Tewi mercilessly attacked her weak points.

The master and familiar pair spent the next few minutes tickling each other back and eventually wound up on the bed.

"Tewi?"

"What is it, little one?"

"*Yawn* Thanks... for... everything..."

"No problem, kit. Now sleep."

"Munyamunyamunya..."

**_Ra ra~ Usagi, usagi, nani wo mite haneru?_**/ _La ra~ rabbit, little rabbit, what you see when you jump?_

"Louise, I need to head back now. You are definitely safe for now. Take Care of Tiffi, would you? Don't worry, I boosted the two of you with the most luck you'll ever have. Next time you summon something, it'll be amazing. Guaranteed."

**_Juugoya no tsuki dake ja monotarinai_**_./ The fifteenth night moon is not nearly enough._

"Old man. Baldie. Thanks for everything. Queeny. Be careful. Siesta, remember, those legends... are real."

The soft cries almost made Tewi drop the whole thing. But no, it was the best time to do this. She looked back at her former master, patted her head and said, "Hey look. I'm a rabbit, right? Remember all those stories I told you?"

Louise nodded. Whenever she would find it hard to sleep, Tewi would tell the mage tales of her homeland: fairy tales, historical accounts, and even tidbits of her own life, as bedtime stories. And the stories that Tewi told the most were the ones about the Lunar Rabbits and Earth Rabbits. Louise could only smile at that memory. "You.. *sniff* can't.. be called... *sniff* a rabbit... if.. if .. *sniff* *sniff* you don't reach for the moon, Right?"

A weak chuckle accompanied that remark.

"Right Louise. A rabbit must always..."

**_Yoru ni tobidashite tsuki to odorou./_ **_Jump into the night and dance with the moon._

After their good-byes, Tewi climbed into the Zero Fighter and took off, aiming for the two moons that were still barely eclipsing each other and the sun.

Then, all of a sudden, she wasn't there anymore.

**_Doko made mo takaku todoke, tsuki made todoke!/_**_ No matter how high you must reach, reach for the moon!_

"Perfect orbit my ass."

She re-appeared dangerously close to the Bamboo Forest of the Lost, and could only land in the clearing outside of it. Getting out of the plane, Tewi didn't know what to do.

"How the Former Hell of Blazing Fires am I going to get this to the clinic? If the kappa see this... *Shudder*"

"Enjoy your trip?"

That voice... That timing... That... [WORD GAPPED]. The [GAP]est youkai Tewi knew. She would be behind the whole thing. She could only turn and glare at the [GAP] [GAP], no "woman" half in-half out of one of her famous trademark gaps.

"Yeah. Had your fun?"

"Ufufufufu... I guess. Here, A prize."

Deposited gently by gap, a medium sized wooden box fell into the cockpit of the Fighter Jet.

"Alright..." The earth bunny knew she had to be wary. Yukari, giving gifts? Only if the gifts served another purpose or were pranks... much like how Tewi herself did them.

"Well... you provided a lot of entertainment for me, Tewi. It was... invigorating. But of course, we both know that leaving this 'plane' here near kappa territory is just inviting disaster. Let me deliver it to the clinic for you."

One disgusting violating pleasure-filled disorienting trip through... gap-space later, Tewi found herself outside a sleepy clinic. A young rabbit saw her and quickly ran back inside.

"Thank you, but you're never this helpful." Tewi knew that she had to be suspicious of Yukari. No duh. Everyone knew that. And, likewise, Yukari helping you could only mean one of two things: she felt like helping (Which frankly, should scare the mochi out of anybunny), or you are about to get into something amusing (which was worse).

Yukari's half hidden smile behind the fan just made tewi even more uneasy. Did she know of the rabbit's plan?

But Tewi would not be able to think of it, as the residents of the house began to come out to greet her.

**_Nagaku itsu made mo tsuzuita yoru,/_**_ The night lasted for so long,_

"Hello Princess, Hello Moukou, Hello bunnies! I'm Home!"

"TEWI!" "What is that thing?" "Where have you been?"

"Why don't you check it out! Wait, you two, don't fight near it! And don't get blood on it! And it's a long story! Why don't I tell it to you over tea and snacks, Minna!"

In the doorway, behind all of the commotion, Eirin could only smile as she left to go get another teapot and tray of rice crackers and mochi.

**_Kurikaesu hibi wo hataori tsuzukete_**_./ Continue weaving the days of repetition_.

"Tewi, I (oh, by the moon I never thought I'd say this...) I... missed you. Wel.. Welcome back."

"Thanks Reisen. I'm… home."

**_Itsu ka ano, sora no tsuki made todoke_**_./ Sometime, reach for the moon in the sky_.

"Sensei."

"Tewi. It's good to have you back. What is that thing you brought with you?"

"It's a long story. It's an artifact from the outside world, we need to look it over... Eirin?"

"Yes, Tewi?"

"Can... I have a hug?"

"... ah... Alright?"

**_Tobihanete otsukisama no hate made!_**_/ Fly all the way, all the way to the Moon!_

"TEWI! WHAT IS HAPPENING?"

~~~  
Before the flames come in, Baby rabbits = kits != bunny. Though Troll!Tewi is good, I love "Big Sis" Tewi, (or Tewi as she treats the other youkai bunnies)

And please don't kill me for the anime plot point. It's the best explanation for Tewi's moon-jumping for now. Also: Tewi in this story cannot fly. There is no proof or indication that Tewi can fly in any canon work. And it would make the Moon-reaching too easy.


	3. EienTewi 3: Snips of the future

These snips happen after "Eien Tewi 2"

* * *

"You know, I'm not sure how I feel about this."

Eirin was in her dominatrix suit and had her cat-o-nine-tails ready in one hand, and a ball-gag in the other, ready to start.

"I mean, I don't think Halkegina is ready for S&M."

"Tewi, you never complained before..."

The white rabbit of good fortune gave the Doctor a very stern look. And sighed. "You're scaring the children."

Eirin focused on the band of schoolgirls also in the room with them. Tabitha was blushing furiously as she hid behind her book. Kirche and Louise were reduced to hugging each other in fear behind Tabitha's back...

But Siesta? Siesta was drooling over... well, Eirin's "Equipment."

"You're __ Really_ _ scaring the children."

* * *

"But, you're the pheonix! The being of FLAME! You are supposed to be like me, Ardent and Fickle with a Burning Passion!"

Looking at the ranting noble, the human possessed by the phoenix could only muster up an annoyed expression at Kirche's rant.

So what if she was acting like a housewife? Someone had to do it, and none of the Eintei residents were capable of such things. Except Reisen, but she… well, the less said about what she goes through, the better.

* * *

Louise and Tewi were enjoying the soup Mokou made as they made pleasant chat over the humble dinner table in Mokou's new "Hut". Sometimes, however, Louise would be distracted by Kirche's histrionics as the Ardent complained to her stoic friend about the unwanted interloper on the Academy's social scene.

Turning back to her familiar who was enjoying her mushroom soup, Louise could only ask.

"Is... Kaguya really a princess from the moon?"

At this, Tewi stopped and looked pointedly at her master. "Yeah. Her innate "purity" and otherworldly beauty is because of that history. You saw how she got all of Kirche's admirers, despite being pretty much flat. Oh, and you should probably put that bowl down."

Louise wanted to explode at her familiar for the "flat" comment, but all of a sudden her stomach didn't feel good.

"*Sigh* Mokou, no more Mushroom soup. Tabitha, can you please get Eirin?"

* * *

Ah, I really wanted to do a "pettan-pettan" joke in there, but there's no Suika, so it wouldn't be as funny


	4. EienTewi Extra Snips 1

Tewi universe:

Note: this is before going to Tarbes for the first time, for those who are lost, basically before the second part of EienTewi 2.

~~Pillage Part 1~~

"Tewi. What are you holding?"

Louise could only look at the scene with disinterest. Tewi pulled tons of stunts in her time as the young mage's familiar after all. It felt good to see Kirche as the other one on the other end of Tewi's machinations for once.

"You said you wanted to go treasure hunting right?" The sundress-wearing rabbit responded.

Kirche looked over the ensemble Tewi assembled nervously. "Yes, but..."

"Well, Treasure Hunting is the same thing as Pillaging. And I'm all ready for that."

Tewi was in her traditional sundress, yet had a cloth over her mouth and dark glasses over her eyes.

And had the most intimidating and complicated cannon/musket hybrid in her hands anyone had ever seen.

The sign with the words "Pillaging Mode" around her neck didn't make Kirche feel any better.

Louise laughed.

~~At Home~~

"You know, I thought things would calm down once Tewi was gone."

"Mrrfphle"

"But now, the princess won't even play with me. She snubs my declarations of revenge! She's too busy for even the monthly Fight to Immobilization!"

"Mrrgggle..."

"I can see how she can be busy, and all, with her needing to command the rabbits personally, But really."

Mokou turned to Reisen, who was covered in bandages and held upside down with a rope from the ceiling.

"I never realized she thought Tewi's pranks were so amusing! Now without them she's reduced to torturing you all the time!"

Reisen could only cry.

She thought Tewi being missing would be a good thing too.

She already did most of the work... but now the princess tortured her to relieve herself of boredom. On top of her Master's punishments it was all becoming too much.

~~Pillage part 2~~

"That was a bust." Kirche sighed tiredly as the group made camp once again. Her plan to get rich quick seemed to be falling apart, with the squad often spending more money for supplies then they could get back.

Louise, however looked contemplative. Turning to her familiar, she wanted to confirm something about what the rabbit once said to her.

"Hey, Tewi... What does "Manipulation of Luck" really mean? Shouldn't having you in our group be helping us find these treasures?"

Siesta saw that wicked smile. She shuddered. She remembered what happened the last time. And that other time. And the time before... ...

*Ahem* Siesta saw that wicked smile. Siesta's mind was broken.

"Why this of course!"

Tewi turned and promptly tripped.

"Owie. Oh my, look what's here!"

A slight pawing at the ground turned up a pouch of gold coins and jewels. Kirche's left eye began twitching.

Passing the bag to Louise, Tewi dug a hole. The jet of hot water that came out once she reached the bottom caused Tabitha to quickly put her book away.

"Bath." she noted as she looked at the newly-made hot-spring.

"Oh deary me, What's this chest doing here?"

And moments later, Tewi uncovered a chest behind the overgrown bushes they were camping behind. The same chest that they spent the past two days searching for.

Kirche's patience was broken.

"!"

~~After the Fall: Spoilers? Maybe?~~

"And you shall be Queen, Louise."

"No."

Everyone turned to look at the Void mage.

"Over time, I realized this world sucks. Nobles are generally lazy and corrupt, the elves are dicks, and the commoners oppressed and angry. I will not be turned into a lightning rod for all three parties to allow a select council use me as a puppet. Besides. Gensokyo awaits."

With that, a large rip in space appeared, with eyes throughout, breaking the minds of all who gazed in. Louise took her first step into the new world.

This didn't mean she was leaving Halkegina forever, of course not.

But the council and church didn't need to know that.

"Hey, Louise! Tewi, Reisen, and Mokou have been waiting for you! C'mon, the feast is ready!"

"Coming Tiffi!

~~ owari ~~

AN: Crack, and since I have not actually read the last book of the light novel i don't know if this meshes with the story. (All I do know is that Saito and Louise... y'know, but no books in english yet -_-!).

Anyway, enough about the last snippet. This collection takes place over many different times in the story. Pillage is during the treasure hunt arc, After the End is book 21 (projected, it may not be accurate), and the "At Home" snip is floating in an unknown timeline before Tewi heads back for the first time.

For Pillage part 2, there was a typo when I first posted to SB's CW forum. It got lots of laughs but may be construed as offensive. This is it in its original context:

A slight pawing at the ground turned up a pouch of gold coins and jews. Kirche's left eye began twitching.


	5. Convictor of Halkegina

~~Convictor of Halkegina~~

_Hanzai toshi... __**Halkegina**__... darakushi kouhai shita seigi wo shin no sugata ni modoseru no wa  
Hou no bannin de aru watashi shika inai no da wa!_

_Kaitei - zaijou wo tsukitsukete  
Suitei - kantei no kekka zantei  
Zentei - yuuzai tonikaku yuuzai  
Shirokuro hakkiri tsuke danzai!_

_Louise! The little Lolita Mage that can't get anything right is just a Tsundere.  
Stop lying to everyone so we can move on to bigger things!_

"KIDNAPPING! ASSAULT! UNLAWFUL IMPRISONMENT! SLAVERY! HOW DO YOU PLEAD!"

Kirche didn't know what to think. For all of her teasing, she didn't want Louise to fail her summoning. No, she just wanted her rival to summon something less impressive than her own summon. What came out instead was a short green-haired woman dressed in ornate clothing. With a golden tablet in one hand. And an intricately designed cap.

Much noise and commotion abound, and Louise hastily bound her familiar. But after the binding ritual, the summoned one became agitated and noisy to the point that Louise just set off a silencing spell. It failed, (of course), but it instead acted like a translation spell, which would have been just as good.

Except the fact that once the situation was explained to the green-haired one, she grew even more incensed. And promptly declared that she was a Judge of the Dead, the one who determines if a mortal's soul goes to heaven or hell.

Louise scoffed, and cries of "heretic" and "heathen" filled the fields.

Which was when it summoned an ornate **bench.**

No one questioned her after that.

~~ The Conviction of Wardes ~~_  
Wardes! You appear to be the noble knight to come save the day,  
But your sin and treachery shines right through all the lies you speak!_

"TREASON! ATTEMPTED RAPE! RAPE BY SUBSTANCE! COERCION! HOW DO YOU PLEAD?"

Somehow, the Yama managed to save Wales before Wardes could even begin. She seemed to know all of Wardes's actions in the past, all the dirty dealing, even his motivations.

Louise didn't know what to think. Her knight in shining armor... just wanted to use her. But it didn't matter, because the Yama only gave out death sentences.

"As if you have the power to govern me! I will be judged by the Founder and my Maker!"

At that comment Shikieki looked affronted. She pinched her nose and leaned forward.

"I do not care which god made you, and who is your patron saint. I was tasked with the duty of judging the dead. No more, No less. You may meet your maker. You may meet a demon. It matters not. I am only here to judge between SHIRO and KURO."

Drawing up to her full (but still minuscule) height, the Yama of Xanadu raised her rod of remorse and brought it down, declaring her verdict.

Sealing Wardes's fate forever.

AN: Convictor Yamaxandu this time, with a splash of Touhou Soccer!


	6. Suwako, Suika, Sakuya, Sanae

S-corp!

Four sets this time, first is Suwako, Suika, Sakuya, and Sanae!

~~ Child of Suwa ~~

"Kero. Kero-kero. Kero."

The rustling dissatisfaction in the crowd unnerved Louise. Her familiar promised that she would substantiate her claims of being a goddess, and bring Louise honor during the exhibition.

So far, she had only been sitting on the stage, doing that infernal noise.

Then she leaped... and flew.

Thunder rolled about the academy, as the skies went from clear to dark without warning. Torrential downpour and tempest winds unheard of in the vicinity of the Academy battered the lands, yet nay a stray drop fell upon the audience. Flying high in the storm, her familiar was there, flapping her arms in the air as she cried out, "Froggy braves the Wind and the Rain!"

And lo, cascades of blue enchanted water drew designs in the sky.

Suwa-ko. The Child of Suwa.

Native God.

~~ Child of Suwa extra:

"So... why were you just standing on the stage for so long?"

Suwako turned from her cup of wine and looked at her inquisitive "master".

"I can't brave the winds and the rain without a good storm happening now, can I? "

* * *

~~Suika's wonderful Breasts~~

_Boing boing._

_Boing._

It was a wonderful morning. Despite the much excitement over the weekend, most students at Tristian's acclaimed Academy of Magic were enjoying a calm breakfast. Louise, on the other hand was not. Unable to rouse her lazy familiar, all she was able to obtain was a half-hearted promise that the said familiar would meet her at the dining hall before breakfast ended. This did not improve her mood one bit, and most students gave her a wide berth.

Most.

_Boing._

"Oh Louise! Where is that adorable drunkard of a Familiar of yours?"

"Shut it, Zerbst."

For some explainable reason, Louise's sworn enemy, Kirche immediately took a liking to the familiar, calling it cute and fitting for Louise. After all, Suika was similar in stature and body shape: short and steeper than a cliffside.

_Boing._

Drawing closer to the pinkette, Kirche glanced at her with her smoky gaze. "oh don't be so cold! At least Suika knows how to have fun."

_Boing Boing._

"LOUISE! HIC!"

Head turned to the entrance of the hall, and instantly half of the room's gaze were fixed upon two... things. Suika Ibuki, Oni Extraordinaire, had arrived.

"F-ff-FAMILIAR!"

For someone who was waiting for her familiar, Louise did not seem very relieved. Rather her face was a deeper red than Kirche's hair, and the said woman was actively restraining her along with Tabitha, who still held a book in one hand.

_boing _"Hic"_ boing_

"I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT IS GOING ON!"

Taking note of her "master", and taking an even longer draft from her gourd, the oni walked on over to her master's seat and began to explain.

"Well.. _hic._. I began to experiment _hic_ with my powers... _hic_... and this is the result!" The grin on her face only angered Louise further. "Pretty cool _hic_ Right? the power _hic _of gathering!"

The things that everyone was staring at were Suika's breasts. As big as her namesake, straining her shirt to near bursting. They were bigger than Kirche's but on a body shorter than Louise they seemed beyond obscene.

_boing boing._

Louise's mind started to break. Just yesterday she dismissed Suika's powers as a mere joke. Now she had two reasons to respect the said powers stuck straight in her face. Well, actually a ways below her face, but you get the idea.

She decided to cut her losses and talk to her familiar again.

"Familiar! the... Your... Those... ARGH!" Deep breaths, Calm yourself Louise...

_boing boing._

"Familiar, you have shown me a good enough example of your... powers... now such things are just getting in the way. You don't need such a lewd body! You're not like that Zerbst, such giant... things would only slow you down and make you less useful as a familiar! So I command you to turn back to normal!"

_boing._

At that, Suika only took another swig and replied.

"WHAT WAS THAT _hic_? I CAN'T HEAR _hic_ YOU OVER THE SOUND _hic_ OF MY TITS! _hic_"

~~ Loli-Oni! ~~

"Pettan Pettan Tsurupettan! Pettan Pettan Tsurupettan! Tsurupettan Suika!"

Louise could only watch as her familiar danced along the hall, singing and drinking while making a mess out of the feast. Her confidence didn't go much higher as Suika noticed the girl in the middle of her dance.

"Yo! Louise! Ah... *hic* silly me! You of course wouldn't *hic* understand the song! Ok! Hajimaru yo!"

"Flat chest, flat chest, flat as a pancake! Flat chest, flat chest, flat as a pancake!"

Louise could hear the laughter as her face started coloring.

"Flat chest, flat chest, flat chested... Suika.. hmm... oh dear."

Suika broke off her song as she looked down.

*Boing**Boing*

Nope. Chest not flat.

*paff paff*

Hands found their home on Louise's front.

*Pat Pat*

"Ah! That works! Flat chest, flat chest, Delicious flat chest! Flat chest, flat chest, Louise's flat chest!"

*BOOM*

~Suika Supplement~

AN: yes, I always think of Suika as singing the tsurupettan song, but Lol. Suika. With tits. Idea from Touhou 4koma by morino hon.

* * *

~~ Zero World ~~

"Sakuya?"

The Chevalier held her glass of wine tenderly in her left hand as she sat upon her golden chair.

"Yes Young Master?"

"Kill them all."

Henrietta could only watch as the girl who was once her childhood friend ordered the assassination of a whole army in broad daylight. Ever since the summoning Louise grew cold and regal, like a heartless empress uninterested in her lands, and pleased only by slaughter.

The way she talked and acted became so seductive, often Henrietta had to excuse herself from her once-friend's presence to calm down.

She blamed that damn familiar. It was all that damn witch's fault.

An: Based off of a certain picture of Sakuya.

* * *

~~ Ye of Little Faith ~~

"Very Well. You may enter Gensokyo through this gap provided by my master. Do not cause trouble, and study up on the spell card rules before you go out of your shrine's bounds. We WILL retaliate with the full force of the law and land if you do not follow the rules."

Sanae didn't really like the Kitsune that was conversing with Kanako-sama. Granted, the wind priestess agreed that the move to this fantasy land was in the best interests of the shrine, but the Kitsune, Ran, and her Master (Yakumo-sama) seemed so... slippery. Somehow Sanae constantly felt that the two (especially Yakumo-sama!) were planning something, or not telling the whole truth.

Despite all her misgivings about the move, as long as she could save Suwako-sama and Kanako-sama she didn't care, even if it meant leaving all the new Gundam series behind. And Emi-chan, Miki-chan, Haru-pyon and Mi-nyan.

No, Sanae didn't really want to leave all her friends and the modern conveniences behind. But for a better life, a life with Suwako-sama and Kanako-sama still alive, a life with all three of them together was worth far more than friends and ease of living.

Suwako and Kanako were more than gods to Sanae. They sacrificed their own power to help her, burning through their remaining faith to take physical forms and raise her, to live together with her out of concern for her health and loneliness. So she did her best. She stood by them and did all she could for the shrine.

She wouldn't abandon her family after all.

A tap on the shoulder broke the young girl out of her reverie. Suwako had a gentle smile on her face as she brought the sitting priestess close into a hug.

"You ready, Sanae? Kanako's finishing up with Ran, and Yakumo-san has already prepared the border."

Wrapping her arms around the petite goddess body, Sanae returned the embrace as she nodded into Suwako's chest. "Hai. I'm as ready as I'll ever be, Suwako-sama."

From that position, Sanae watched as the Kitsune disappeared through a gap to prepare the landing site. Moments later, the shrine shook as she felt the gap encompass her home.

Then something went wrong.

All Sanae saw was green.

*Boom!*

A large explosion, throwing some a couple feet back, kicked up tons of dust and dirt in the wake of Louise's summons. Moans of pain and hisses of discontent rose throughout the ranks of schoolchildren, making Colbert wince and call for help.

Though, as the dust cleared, many looked on in confusion as instead of an animal, a strange-looking building was on the land that had the summoning circle. Murmurs became questions, questions became shouts, and soon a cacophony of accusations, jeers, and questions filled the courtyard.

Louise Françoise le Blanc de la Vallière, however, didn't know whether to celebrate or cry.

After prodding from her Professor, she walked up to the building and began casting the binding ritual, doubting anything would happen.

Which is why when the door of the shrine opened, she accidentally kissed and bound the green-haired girl that slid open the panel right in front of the young mage.

~~ Sanae Supplement ~~

Sanae, from Wild and Horned Hermit, is quite well versed in science despite being a miko. So my Sanae will be more of a science-y girl, liable to visit Akihabara for both Anime and Electronics.

She's sort of anti-social, only having a somewhat small circle of friends, and immerses herself in her Shrine duties, Giant Mecha anime, and electronic tinkering. Though when she becomes your friend, she's far more open and fun, a DanDere. Well, at least in my head. I also see Suwako and Kanako as a surrogate family for Sanae.

This Sanae is before the corrupting influence of Gensokyo, and is still quite sane if just depressed. I've always seen "Youkai extermination Sanae" as a study in just how different Gensokyo is from the outside world, and how those rules and existence twist the personalities of someone who has lost much of who they were while they survive in such a fantastical place.


	7. Sanae Extended part 1 and Omake

This part of the story has been moved out. Please check my profile to see the new edited and improved story. "Zero Faith to be Found"

* * *

~~ Far into the future ~~

Louise couldn't believe it.

Her heathen familiar was a Pentagon-class wind mage.

On a scale that ran dot to square, such a class did not exist. But that was the point.

She watched her familiar dance above the fields of Tarbes, calling upon her goddeses at will, crashing ships into one another while her spells tore apart dragons as if they were cloth.

Her familiar was not "Pentagon-class" in power, but in control; able to cast hundreds upon thousands of individual spells, each with the destructive force of a miniature explosion. If the priestess were to fight her mother, the legendary Heavy Wind, she didn't know what would happen.

Louise then looked again at the carnage in the skies and untouched fields below. No, not even her mother could replicate this feat.

Still, she could not imagine what a confrontation between the two wind users would look like. She just knew one thing: Sanae would emerge unscathed.

After all, the priestess of the wind would not be harmed by her own element.

Wardes knew that all too well.

* * *

AN: Moar Sanae. Any questions can be answered at SB (spacebattles forum).


	8. Zero Faith to be Found omakes part 2

**Chapter 1 Omake.**

"Hoh? It seems that the would-be peeper has become... an _Annoyance._"

"Yu.. Yukari-sama! I apologize, it must be *smack*"

An elagantly designed white parasol lunged out of a [Explanation gapped] and brained the fox shikigami, who quickly recovered.

"Ran. Do not apologize for things beyond your control. It is _unbecoming_."

"Hai... Yukari-sama," The nine-tailed glorified housewife responded.

"Having another shrine and another line of miko's, one with the capability of becoming nigh immortal would have eased my mind quite a bit. Even more so with the Hakurei line simply refusing to bear more than one or two children and its history of... lesbianism."

'Not that you did anything about that,' Ran thought as she remembered the product of Yukari's boredom one day. The day that three incidents were solved by what was known (and hidden) as the "Great Shrine Orgy". The miko's line was never the same after that...

Two elegantly gloved hand tore open a space, as two [gapped] eyes looked at a fanatical pope and his cargo-ship lover, his mirror.

"Look at the pathetic worm, so drunk upon his own power... Even I know my power..."

The fleeting grimace told Ran her master was thinking of Yuyuko again, one of the [GAPPED]'s most soul-crushing failures. Even with all her whimsy, the master of the kitsune could not hide her pain, only distract herself from the memories of that fleeting moment in history.

"Ara, ara, fufufufufu..."

One gloved hand disappeared into a [GAPPED] and began tinkering with [GAPPED] as it [GAPPED GAPPED GAPPED].

Even with her connection to the [GAPPED], Ran's supercomputer mind would break if she tried to comprehend [DESCRIPTION GAPPED]

"Pity you... annoyed... me..."

The golden haired fox cringed.

"fufufufufufufu..."

[GAPPED]  
~~~~

**Chapter 2 : Omake (Faith for the Transient Contract)**

"You've been sold"

Three words servants either dreaded or hoped to hear.

Siesta dreaded them. She was always afraid that this day would come.

When commoners talked to each other, they didn't mince words. Phrases like "Request your presence" and "accompany the master tonight" were cut down and said in much more simple terms. "You are going to be scolded" and "The master wishes to rape you". It was a common courtesy among fellow servants, as they did not want to leave the target person unprepared.

No sugar-coating, no euphemisms. Just straight directive.

Which is why when Siesta heard those words, she knew that a new life, not necessarily a good one, awaited her.

Sure, the Grand Chamberlain might say it was "Transferring of the Contract", but she, and the Head Maid, knew what it really meant.

The rights to the remaining years of service to the Academy was sold, to a high enough bidder for the Administrators to even consider replacing her.

Maybe it was one of the pigs that always groped her as she passed.

Maybe it was a Noble that saw her in passing, and wanted to add her to his/her collection.

Maybe it was a jealous woman wanting revenge.

It didn't matter.

She had no choice but to follow their orders after this.

The Head Maid told her to pack up what little belongings she had.

It seems that her new owner wanted to have his/her new "toy"... today.

"..."

It was time to leave. Despite all of the hardships and unwanted advances, Siesta loved the Academy. Her employers were fair, and the benefits great. She made enough gold to send home and keep her extensive family fed.

Which was even more important now, as drought plagued Tarbes this year. Famine would arrive come winter, and even the Crown knew it. The princess, the only noble Siesta looked up to, bless her soul, sent a small band of water mages to help channel lake water into the aqueducts and irrigation canals. But as the lakes and rivers dried up, the left, as nothing could be done.

When the princess learned of this, she immediately suspended the wheat tax for the region, citing good levels of past revenue and that the drought qualified as an emergency.

But even with all that, Siesta knew it would not be enough to save all of her family. Already stores of grain were looking low, and they had to buy water and ale to drink.

And now her contract had been sold. She was no longer safe. In a month, she could be dead, or discarded on the street as trash once pregnant. Her family would no longer get the gold they desperately needed.

Maybe this was Brimir's last act of spite, as she now had new gods.

Maybe this was his punishment.

No matter, Siesta decided as she finished packing her meager belongings, She'd pray to her new gods, to the new shrine.

As she kneeled by her bed and clasped her hands, a sense of warmth and calm enveloped her being.

"We're listening" it seemed to say.

A knock at the door told the maid that her new master was here to pick her up.

When she saw the noble and shrine maiden pair behind the door, her heart soared.  
~~~~

**Bonus Omake: Sanae's Danmaku Textbook**

Dear reader,

If you are reading this then you will be learning the baisics of Danmaku. This guide will only cover forming your own bullets and baisic spell patterns, and will not go into the more complex and less useful properties of this magical pastime. Many may ask "Why should I learn this game for mages?".  
The answer: it is damn useful.

By changing the density and composition of your danmaku shots, you can cycle between from non-lethal to lethal blows, allowing you to stay at a safe distance while fighting or running away.

The spread out nature of danmaku shots can be used to clear out swarms of fairies fast, as well as hit a fast moving target more easily. Furthermore, by using this as a "cover fire", you can distract youkai from there prey long enough for said prey to escape. Changing to more damaging shots will allow you to hold off more common youkai until they decide to move onto easier targets.

But above all, if you can convince the more powerful youkai to fight you with Danmaku over a normal physical or magical battle, you now have a _chance_at survival.

Danmaku started out as a magician's game where each side could display their magical prowress without bringing direct harm to each other, but now most youkai use it to pass time.

I foresee it as the key to the survival for humans, and will train all my descendants in it.

For you, the less magically inclined - (cont.)

Excerpt from "Basics of Danmaku" by "Hakurei Hikaru, Head Priest of the Hakurei Shrine"

[Addenum: The rules have changed, and all battles are to be fought through the "Spellcard rules" which are based off of Danmaku and its derivative games. This is still a very good guide on how to form your first bullets and spellcards though further study will be needed if you are to keep living in Gensokyo. ~ Ran Yakumo, in the stead of Yukari Yakumo-sama]

AN: Chapter 8 has been severely truncated, as I will be turning Sanae's story into its own independent fiction. The Omakes will still be here though.


	9. ZFtbF : Omake and Data

Zero Faith to be Found Omake Collection

AN: As an apology for not being able to update during the past week, I'm posting some omakes for Zero Faith to be Found. These are to be considered "Non-canon" or "Semi-canon" Omakes. Completely unedited and unbeta'd, They are:

Raising Sanae : A short snippet with some KanaSuwa yuri undertones about how the two goddesses raised the orphaned Miko

Nukwear (Nuclear) Irukukwu : If somehow Kanako and Suwako tried feeding the cute dragon a Yagatarasu corpse… (Crack)

The Wrath of a Miko : A proto-scene, what could have been the face-off between Karin and Sanae. Scrapped because of plot reasons.

Infinite Worlds omake : What happens when two Zeros meet? Actually, Yukari just loves trolling herself.

Bonus materials in the Author's notes: Read and find out!

* * *

Omake 1

~.o.~

"Wake up, Sanae, it's time for breakfast,"

The gentle shake did little to wake the little priestess. "aaauuumunyamunyamunyammmmmm"

She snuggled deeper into the G Gundam sheets on her bed, tousling her green hair even more.

Kanako sighed at the cute display. It seemed like she would have to do her worst. Carefully standing by the window, the Goddess of Wind and Rain brought her hands to her chest and positioned the mirror that sat atop her breasts carefully so that the sun reflected straight into her priestess's eyes.

"MMNNNGGGG! Cha~ Iie..."

The goddess who loves hills could only sigh as the eight year old girl twisted and turned in her bed, trying to avoid the merciless beam of light. Giving up, the little one just threw the covers over her head and fell back onto her pillow. Kanako walked over and began shaking the mound under the covers.

"Come, on Sanae, Suwako is making your omelets right now. You don't want to be in such a rush that you miss it now do you?"

Grudgingly and groggily Sanae went off to brush her teeth and wash her face, but not before giving the blue-haired goddess her customary "Wakey hug".

"Arigato, Oka...nako-sama."

The goddess laughed as the child scurried away, embarrassed by the slip-up. She headed over to the kitchen where Suwako was ladling out the miso soup.

"She almost called you "okaasan" again, didn't she." The Loli-looking goddess stated as she drew close. Wrapping her arms around the smaller woman's waist, Kanako responded.

"Yeah. I really wish she'd just call us that though..."

Her blonde-haired companion could only smile and hold out a laquered bowl.

"Hush. We can talk about this later. Bring the food to the table first,"

Breaking the embrace, Suwako went over to the rice cooker and began filling up the rice bowls.

"If you stopped liking my hugs then you could have just said so" Kanako pouted. "I can focus all of my hugs on Sanae then!"

Holding the now filled rice bowls in her hands, the Frog goddess tip-toed to the taller one and kissed Kanako on the cheek.

"There. Now help me with breakfast"

~.o.~

As they watched Sanae walk down the path to school, snake and frog hair ornaments bouncing with each step, Suwako finally let out a deep sigh. In the arms of her lifelong companion, it was only now that she let herself relax.

"Don't worry, Suwako, we both are watching over her. Nothing will happen."

"I know."

They just stood there in the doorway, unseen by human eyes. For millennia, they only had each other for company, a lonesome existence only broken by the appearance of true Wind Priestesses. The two goddesses grew close through the years after their great battle.

Their relationship was complex. Once bitter enemies, then lovers, and now fellow guardians of an 8 year old child. The two eternity-long companions cared for each other deeply, but outgrew physical pleasures centuries ago. Now that they memorized each inch of every form, there was no novelty in that expression of relationship.

Rather, they shared the most intimate act of all.

Sharing Faith.

~.o.~

* * *

Omake 2 : Nukwear Irukukwu

"But Big Sister, Kana-sama told Irukukwu to eat it Kyu..!

"Don't eat."

"But Kana-sama said it would bring me great power Kyu... Irukukwu... tabetai tabetai tabetai tabetai tabetai!"

"ta...be..tai?"

"Kyu...Onee-chama told Irukukwu that it means "Irukuwu wanna eat it" kyu..."

"No."

"kyu..."

Tabitha didn't know what to do. It seemed just like a freshly killed overly large bird... but for some reason the thought of her familiar eating it gave her chills. Maybe it was some sort of food that gave the eater great powers?

She highly doubted it, but the thought of Syphlid with any extra powers during her tantrums...

*shiver*

~.o.~

* * *

Omake 3: Wrath of a Miko

"W...what? Im.. Impossible! you" Karin never thought she would see the day. Her daughter's familiar stepped into the path of the attack and warped the wind around her. With one hand, Karin's triangle-level Hurricane had been dispelled... no. Absorbed.

"I. Am. The. Wind. Priestess." The Miko ground out as the torrents of wind and wisps of belief diffused into her body. The black-gray clouds rumbled with anger as her power resonated with the dark heavens. With her robes fluttering amidst the wind and rain, she pointed her Gohei at the legendary Heavy Wind.

Henrietta and the rest of the students looked on in horror.

"Call me Heretic or Heathen. All you need to know is that everything the Academy thought about me was wrong."

Her once yellow eyes burned deep blue, seemingly outshining the weakened sun as the wind and power condensed into a near-tangible aura. Slowly the Shrine Maiden rose to meet the noblewoman in the Air. Voice amplified by her power, No one missed her next statement.

"The Wind Priestess is not the avatar of a spirit, or a master of first borne magiks. Not a conjurer of cheap tricks or mage pretending to be a holy man."

The wind around her intensified. The storm followed suit.

"The Wind Priestess is the one with the power to create Miracles. She is the one whose power transcends mortality... and becomes an Arahitogami."

With one flick, a storm even greater than the famed Heavy Wind screeched towards the former Manticore Knight, laden with hundreds of glowing orbs of destruction. Sanae smiled darkly as her target's armor was gouged and shredded by the razor winds and overcharged danmaku. No matter which way she dodged, or how fast she flew, Karin the "Heavy Wind" took damage. When the attack was finally over, the Duchess fell to the ground, bleeding, stripped, and spent.

The Living Goddess Lowered herself, but did not dissipate her power.

"As I warned everyone long ago, The Moriya Shrine does not house just Two Gods."

One swipe cleared all the storm clouds from the sky, leaving only shining sun, illuminating the damage to the fields and the near-naked form of Louise's mother.

"It houses Three."

~.o.~

* * *

Omake 4 : Infinite Worlds

_"What could be more interesting than breaking down the Border between Realities? It's so amusing~"_ Yakumo Yukari

~.o.~

Two normally multi-chromatic eyes glowed bright red. All the noise coming from the bond with her shikigami was preventing Yukari from taking her After-afternoon-nap-nap.

"CHEEEEEEEEEEEEN! !"

Why couldn't the damn fox SHUT UP?

Knowing she wouldn't be able to go to sleep now, the gap youkai turned on her television to check on Aya.

And found two Chens playing with Kirche and Tabitha on screen.

Her eye twitched.

She hated when She did that.

~.o.~

"So... you're me... if I summoned a shrine? Does... does the summoning even work that way!"

"Of course not." Louise's, the one that just talked, familiar cut in. "It's probably all Yukari's fault." The black winged Tengu ruffled her feathers in annoyance. The damn Sukima.

"Yakumo-sama seemed... sincere when she tried to help us come in from the outside world, Tengu-san"

At that, the Tengu stopped and looked. "Wait. Sanae. You don't remember me? Your favorite Tengu Reporter? I've even taken pictures of you in your underwear!"

A round of luminescent blushing and sputtered denials confirmed that fact. The Tengu began to realize what had happened.

"By the Tengu Lord... "

~.o.~

* * *

AN: The last one was just crack. Wanted to do a rap battle between Suwako and Kanako, but then it'll be too dirty, so went with this instead.

Anyway, more bonus material for all you Hiroko Fans. Remember, as an OC youkai… she's kinda really weak. As in weaker than the (9). Or even weaker than Dai-chan. In fact, she'd be half as powerful as Dai-chan at her strongest.

Some details on Hiroko (copypasta'd from my forum thread):

Hiroko "came into existence" around the 1860's right after Nagasaki became a free port, in a warehouse that had been in use (in different forms) since 1750's. In reality, she can only remember up to the 1860's, and may have been around longer. She existed in the time before Gensokyo, but since she was a minor spirit in Nagasaki, she wasn't "saved". When I said that she "trades fairy tales" with Takeo, it also means that Hiroko told him stories of the youkai back in the day, as Hiroko would have known the city youkai of Nagasaki.

Possible historical influences are the Dutch, Chinese, and French (in that order).

what we have on her so far:

Name: [Sasaki] Hiroko (Hiro= prosperity, named by Takeo)  
Species: Kurabokko (A spirit of a warehouse, like how zashiki-warashi (aka zashiki-bokko) is a spirit of a house. Brings good luck and protection from fire)  
Appearance: Long puffy blonde hair tied with purple scrunch behind knees, Red beret, (other details under consideration right now)  
Age: over 170 Earth years. Hiroko looks eternally 13.  
Ability: The ability to infuse objects with her body

And some details on Takeo (Sasaki):

backstory:

Born in 1921, Takeo grew up in the Roaring Twenties as the second son of the Sasaki family  
Born into the Upper-Middle class, Takeo's family owned a small shipping buisness  
Exposed to Western Culture from an early age, Takeo became obsessed with Fairy tales.  
In 1925, when looking around the warehouse one day, he meets a Kurabokko, which he names "Hiroko"  
1931, tensions and economic pressures force the Sasakis to close and sell Hiroko's warehouse. Takeo brings her home.  
1933, The eldest son, Ryuuji, comes home from studying abroad.  
1935, The Sasakis are now involved in shipping routes that go to and from Manchuko (Manchuria) China.  
1937, Takeo is rejected from study abroad in England. Unfavorable political situation cited on the Japanese side.  
1938, social pressures amount on the Sasakis as they try to enter the "upper class" due to their business's growth.  
1939 April, Takeo is accepted into Stanford University, United States  
1939 August, Takeo is forced to decline, and is instead forced to join the IJNAF.  
1940 early, Takeo completes flight school and is put in charge of a Mitsubishi A5M  
1941 late, Takeo, having scored 3 kills is promoted and put in charge of a Zero Fighter, despite suspicions.  
Some time before 1944, Takeo dissapears in a dogfight off of the Dragon's Triangle.

On Takeo : he's a far more down-to-earth person, and not really "aristocratic", especially due to his continued association with Hiroko. With his fairy tale background, he actually wouldn't mis-represent himself as a noble but rather try to explain just what he is. Halk knows of merchants and stuff, so they'll probably he's the son of one that got lost.


	10. ZFtbF : Moar omakes

AN: 3 snips this time 2 definitely not "Stanon" for ZFtbF, while one is considered semi-stanon.

* * *

Danso = females dressing as "beautiful boys" or crossdressing (based off of Danso Raging by Cool&Create)

~.o.~

"Well... you really shouldn't call that tradition... Weird."

Louise looked affronted at the blonde goddess's words. All the girls were gathered around the table, chatting with the eldest goddess of the shrine. Behind her, Flame and Irukukwu followed the eyes on top of the frog goddess's hat, clearly mesmerized by the strange existence known as "pyonta".

Until just recently, the topic was on the different traditions from each of their home countries. It was just Kirche's turn, and Louise, understandably, had nothing good to say about her neighbor's culture.

"W..why..why not! If.. If there's a weirder tradition from where you come from, then tell us! I bet you can't find one!" the emboldened noble stated.

"Oh?" an inquisitively arched eyebrow accented Suwako's sly look. "What do you bet?"

Kirche latched onto the blonde's intention and quickly added her own two bits.

"Yeah, Valliere! Come on, where's the weight behind those sharp words?"

Trapped by her own bravado, Louise tried to save as much face as she could.

"If.. If your land has a tradition weirder than breaking pottery before a wedding and expecting the couple-to-be to have fun while cleaning it up I'll participate in that tradition!"

"Oh, Really?" was the shrine's most devious goddess's reply.

Hours later, Louise found herself dressed like a man, all while posing for the "Digital Camera"

*Flash!*

She felt a mix of anger, frustration and embarrassment, but was kept on the spot as all of the other guests had gathered around to watch her strike different poses.

Sanae, behind the dratted artifact, only could give her a small sense of security.

"Look at it this way, Louise, at least you don't have two mothers that did this in public while raising you."

"Right?"

* * *

Snip 2, MoriaQuest!

~.o.~

*Doo-do-doo!*

*Click-click-click*

Staring at the screen, Kanako watched as Suwako kept playing her favorite RPG. Shaking her head at the actions the gamer made her player character do, the Goddess of Wind and Rain could only sigh in disdain.

"You know, I never understood why games let the heroes be so... unnoble!"

"Unnoble's not a word." Eyes still glued to the screen the younger-looking goddess just kept on inputting the commands.

Facepalming in exasperation, the blue haired goddess shook her head at her counterpart's comment. "Still. It's not like a hero in real life would have to go around collecting things and doing quests to kill off the last boss."

Suwako stopped at that comment. Slowly, she turned to the "Hero" who defeated her.

"I don't want to hear that coming from you." she said flatly.

"Ah..." Kanako realized just what she did to take down the once great "Queen of Moriya." and had the decency to blush. "Well... it's not like you'd see that nowadays anyway."

Away from the shrine, Miss Longueville sneezed for no good reason.

As did an ordinary black-white magician.

~.o.o.~

This snip was in honor of Silver Forest's disbanding. It's based off of Marisa Quest by Silver Forest, which has the cutest sounding Youmu ever.

* * *

Semi-stanon/non-canon omake: Suwako's Computer /post/show/158080/

~.o.~

A dull orange glow told the world that the little battery inside still needed charging, while the scuffs and scratches on the lid and chassis spoke of the abuse, no,_ love_ the beige laptop went through over the years. A few keys no longer had any markings on it, those small squares polished clean by all of the use and rubbing. It was an old laptop. Bulky and slow, screen slightly looser than ideal, and it ran just fast enough to be called "fine".

A long time ago it was top-of-the-line.

A Long time ago.

But it was hers, Suwako's laptop. And while Sanae and Kanako didn't understand why she insisted on using the thing, it was all she needed.

Yes, it struggled to even load up nico-nico, and any higher-quality videos would be jittery and disjointed, but what else did she need?

Spreadsheet, word processor, dictionary, a few programs, and an internet connection. She wasn't some sort of programming whiz (though she could), gamer (casual or not), or a computer expert that ran VM's and simulations, she was just a goddess with idle time, and just wanted to connect with others.

Simple things were enough.

With that she booted up her machine, and selected a certain selection, one that would boggle the minds of any modern user.

The machine finished booting up, and the blonde loli made sure that her not-as-old webcam was mounted properly.

With a click, she was in.

"Konnichiwa Ojou-sama... it seems like there is no internet to connect to today"

With a chuckle, Suwako responded.

"Konnichiwa, ME. You wouldn't believe what happened..."

~.o.~

_Thank you for using me, and never forgetting about me, I know I may not be as fast or as good looking as my younger sister, but I'm so glad to have met you._

_I kn y ar goin t eras m ..._

_I l-v- y ma ter... p ..._

~.o.~

youtube. com/ watch? v= kvnIFo3xMfY

/post/show/477552/


	11. Zero Shame omake: Bromiji

Bromiji, The White Wolf Tengu of being totally being Best Bros.

AN: I really suggest reading on 1/2 or 3/4 width. I write these snips for forum reading, so it'll be more comfortable that way.

* * *

"You loved a human before, Nitori" *clack* "Do you regret it?"

Momiji looked up to see her shoji partner freeze with her hand above the pieces. The kappa's eyes were closed, whether in concentration or reminiscence, the tengu didn't know. It wasn't her place to figure it out anyway.

"I... still see him, you know?" Opening her eyes, clear blue eyes searched the sky, unfocused on anything but the past. "Sometimes I think I hear his voice..."

When she looked back at the Wolf-woman, Momiji could see the emptiness behind her eyes.

"Then I remember that I don't know what his voice sounds like anymore. I've even forgotten what he looked like..."

"But-"

"The portrait? The mementos?" The kappa fingered the key tied to her chest lovingly. "He wouldn't want me to dwell on him like that. I... was always different from other kappa."

Momiji felt a sense of wonder as her friend began to explain.

"I was always more interested in swimming and playing then engineering. He... he taught me to love making things, figuring how things work..."

The kappa turned to her latest project.

"This is how I remember him" She stated resolutely, tears slowly trailing down her cheek. "I won't remember how ... weak he was in the end..."

Smiling through the tears, Nitori looked across the chessboard.

"I remember him with everything I make, every new discovery."

"That... is how I remember."

The two old friends stared at their Shoji board in uncomfortable silence.

Inwardly, Momiji cursed the lost opportunity to ask the question that had been nagging her.

~Meanwhile, across Gensokyo~

Reimu traced her fingers over the journal she found tucked between the beams of the attic of her shrine.

She always felt that the Crow Tengu was... off.

Yet this diary of her predecessor showed her an Aya Shameimaru that was completely different from the one she knew, which was why she found herself heading over to Youkai Mountain to meet with the only one that knew the truth.

Momiji, the Hakurou (White Wolf) Tengu. The former Best Friend of Aya Shameimaru, over 60 years ago.

As the Red-White landed in front of the game board, abandoned mid-game, the friend of Aya looked up from her position.

Reimu could see the recognition in the white haired woman's eyes as she looked at the journal in the Miko's hands.

"So... you want to know-"

"About Aya's relationship with my ancestor. About why… she never mentions it. Why she's… so… _different_."

The Tengu pulled a bottle out from behind her and two saucers from inside the Shoji board's many hidden compartments. Slowly she filled the saucers with sake and offered one to the Hakurei. Reimu started to decline, but the Tengu insisted.

"Trust me... you don't want to be sober for this."

Taking the offered disk, the heir to the Hakurei shrine sat down across from the one woman that knew the whole story.

Nodding slightly, she motioned for Momiji to begin the tale.

"It is a terrible tale, one of stupidity, circumstance, and most tragically, love..."

~end for now~

* * *

AN: This is my backstory of "Zero Shame"'s Aya. It explains why she doesn't remember the events 60 years ago:

About 60 or 70 years ago, Aya fell in love with the Hakurei Priest. The loved each other, but she would not be able to bear the heir needed to keep Gensokyo running, so they had to part ways. Seeing her love trapped in another marriage, Aya did the unthinkable. She asked Eirin to give her a medicine… to forget. She carefully got all of the tengu and youkai to agree never to mention it around her, and destroyed all of her archived copies of her articles that contained mentions of the relationship.

She made a final request to Momiji, to be the secret keeper and ensure she never remembered, and took the medicine.

When she woke up, she was a changed person, and started doing weird things. She eventually changed what her Newspaper was originally and it became the gossip-ridden trash it is today. Her skills as a Reporter did not diminish, just her judgement, editing skills, and knowledge of running a paper (As the Hakurei priest often helped with all three things). Aya hates Momiji instinctively right now, as she can feel the Wolf Tengu is keeping something from her. Her subconscious also makes her dote on Reimu a lot, acting upon her still-kept fondness of the Hakurei.


	12. Chibi Flan and Yuyuko

~~ "One Day, Flan Went Missing" ~~

"SAKUYA! I can't FIND FLAN!"

Sakuya looked at her hysterical mistress, clothes frayed and disheveled from her plight. Ever since Flandre-sama became small, Remilia seemed to be... "less charismatic."

"Maybe she's just hiding from you aga-"

"BUT I CHECKED HER HIDING SPOTS! And I even asked China and Patche! Koa hasn't seen her either! OH! WHAT IF SHE HATES ME SO MUCH SHE RAN AWAY!"

By this time, Remilia was crying with her hands rubbing her eyes, trying to clear the tears away.

"Sakuya... " she looked up. "Do you hate me too?"

The teary eyes, the clasped hands, the flushed face filled with hurt and hope. The rumpled clothes that expose just a bit of-

*thud*

It is a common occurrence, but Sakuya has been broken.

~~.oOo.~~

"... and bind this animal as my familiar!" *smooch*

The kiss took Flan-chan by surprise, causing her to blush and drag the cap down over her face as she tried to shy away from the crowd.

Then the pain hit and made Flan cry out.

Louise didn't know what to do. She summoned a cute creature that seemed to be in so much pain from the familiar runes. She decided that the creature looked harmless enough and that she should definitely help her summon.

*grrrrr.*

Flan-chan began to growl and scowl as her eyes glowed red.

*chomp*

Louise's wand has been broken.

~~ .oOo. ~~

Kirche couldn't believe the Zero's luck. She summoned a little creature that was definitely magical by the way it floated and flew. The sheer cuteness of it must be a magical property too, the Zerbst decided, as she watched Louise feed the little thing. Louise by herself was cute enough to make Kirche want to tease her, but together with her new summon?

"I WANT TO TAKE YOU HOME WITH ME!"

"Get away from me, ZERBST!"

*Chomp*

Kirche's hand has been broken.

~~ .oOo. ~~

Chibi Flan was taking a break from her toy master Louise, and spent her time wandering the halls. She liked how that maid-chan gave her extra food, like Sakuya did, but still missed her sister the Scarlet Devil Mansion. Especially right now, as it was story time. Usually Patchy or Koa would read the "Legend of Mukyuu!" to her in the library but there was no Patchy or Koa here.

Flan did find a library though, and she floated on through.

Sitting in a comfy chair tucked away in a corner was that Blue-haired quiet girl that hung around the big-chested molester.

Flan floated over and was noticed before she could look over the bluenette's shoulder.

"Ah. Story. Read?" Tabitha didn't seem to mind the intrusion.

"Uu-uu!" Flan-chan quickly nodded her head, and promptly sat on the wind mage's lap.

"This is the story of the Hero of Ivaldi..."

Tabitha's silence has been broken.

~~ AN ~~

Chibi Flan. When Light-and-Fluffysokyo is not light-and-fluffy enough.

~~ Yuyuko ~~

The Hills of Saxe-Gotha were filled with Men, monsters, and machines.

Yuyuko looked impassively at all those set before her. She remembered Siesta's tearful plea to not fight to the death. Derf's begging to be brought so that he could help her just that much more. Even Louise's misguided attempt to drug her and save the netherworld princess's life.

But they clearly either forgot or could not comprehend her existence.

She was a ghost. She was already dead.

Standing before the army, there was no fear to be felt.

The Hills of Saxe-gotha were filled with butterflies.

And Corpses.

~~ End ~~

Yuyuko in Halk, knowing Yukari will get her to return if ever needed. Kind of just chilling about and enjoying the food. Don't know how it got here though.


	13. Chibi Flan Revenge

The Revenge of Chibi-Flan

AN: takes place between "Chibi-flan" and "Chibi-flan part2", this is the story of how Louise became Chibilouise

~o.o.o~

Flan didn't like the bad man.

He hit her away and separated her from Louise-neechan! Flan-chan didn't like being away from her neechan! If she was away, that remirya-like dark China-lookalike would steal her away and bother her!

It... it wasn't like she loved Louise-neechan or anything!

Well. Actually, yes she loved Louise-neechan.

She was just like a good Remirya-neesama after all, only without the bad tendencies and a bit more like Alice.

Which is why after reducing the green-haired woman into a pile of Broken Mage (with with extra Hnnnng! and Moe!) Flan-chan was flying to the scent of Nice-blonde-pirate-prince-boy.

What? He gave her cookies.

And by the smell of things, still had some of the wonderful spiced baked goods on him.

There, in a ... church.

icky.

Breaking in through the glass, she saw Louise... being married?

*Chomp!*

Wardes tried to swing the little hellion off of his arm, but only managed to regain the stump left over from the bite.

Flan's glowing red eyes told everyone of the danger to be around her.

Seeing that if he stayed there any longer, the member of Reconquista revealed his true colors and attacked Wales...

Only for Flan to get in the way of the spell, losing half of her body.

The cry of pain broke through the enchantment on Louise, who saw what had happened to her cute familar.

"Fireball"

Sharply honed reflexes boosted by his wind affinity kicked in, and Wardes just barely dodged his fiance's revenge...

straight into the jaws of a reformed Flandre.

A reformed Adult Flandre.

Oh... by the founder.

May the Second Scarlet Devil have mercy on Halkegina.

~o.o.o~

later...

Kaa-DERE! CHIBI LOUISE!

~Another snip from SB~

Cattleya was at the doctor, Elanore had shut herself in her room (from some sort of fight with the miniaturized Louise), and the Duke was trying to contain "Flandre" within the manor grounds.

All that was left was Karin to watch over the miniaturized Louise.

Still angry about what happened last time, the pink haired chibi pouted at her.

The mother of three felt so silly, holding a book of fairy tales from Cattleya in her hand.

"Louise. Come here."

With a look of suspicion on her face, Karin's youngest obeyed. "Uuuu?"

Balking at the inquisitive tone, Karin tried to respond. "It's not like Cattleya said I should read to you or anything! I.. I just had some time on my hands..."

"Uuu..." A hesitant "ok" was the only reply as Louise climbed into her mother's lap.

Pushing aside the warm and fluffy feelings she was getting from the act, Karin began doing an act she stopped long ago...

Reading a book to her daughters.

~Earlier~  
"Louise You..." Elanore's harsh voice trailed off as she looked at her youngest sister. The miniaturized stature, the rotund cheeks, and the big eyes all just wore away at her patience.

"Uuu?"

And that voice. Little Louise had somehow become even cuter. Eleanore's eye began twitching uncontrollably, as both hands made pinching motions...

"EXPWO EXPWO EXPWO!"

Minutes later, a sore-cheeked Louise ran out of the room.

Elanore had been broken.  
~end~

AN: Next update, is DARK STUFF. It still is "SFW" and T-rated, but the themes are very dark.


	14. Chibi Flan: Chibi Louise

Chibi... Flan?

~.o.~  
It was the breakfast after the summoning ceremony, and after a quick visit to the headmaster before mealtime, Louise got permission to bring the little creature with her, as it clearly was a child.

"UUuu uu!" the little girl went, stubby arms reaching for a plate of dessert.

"Alright Here you go, familiar"

Louise then became confused on why the little cretin then refused the plate of Creme caramel and glared at her, all while gesticulating wildly at the confection.

"Flan." a blue-haired bookworm remarked as she watched the debacle.

"UUUU!" the near radiant glow and rapid nodding of the cute thing in her arms brought more adoring sighs and coos from the surrounding female populace.

Louise's eyes left her familiar for a moment to look at Tabitha, only to see her rival making a dazed expression with hands clenching ever so slightly, all while staring at the little girl in her lap.

Tabitha noted Louise's confusion and explained.

"Her name... Flan."

Of course, the bluenette didn't explain the more pressing issue.

~.o.~

"**KIRCHE**!"

The busty redhead blinked. Who was this hyper-attractive ponytailed young blonde and how did she know her name?

"Kirche! Where's Tabitha! I need to get her!"

Still stunned, the Zerbst just stared mutely.

"Geez, what's wrong with you! Alright, [_Taboo: Four of a Kind_]!"

With that the blonde split into four identical copies and split up, flying down the hallways calling out for Tabitha.

Could that be... the Familiar of the Zero?

But... she was...

_*tug**tug*_

The Zerbst looked down and saw a mop of pink hair.

And the cutest face she had ever witnessed.

"hauuuuu~" the little creature intoned.

That was it. That was all that was needed.

Kirche's mind was broken.

~.o.~

Chibi flan... or chibi Louise? who is your favorite?, lol (danbooru link) / post / show / 330777/  
~.o.~

Karin had never met such a disgusting creature in the world.

She fought vampires, orcs, and sub-humans of many races.

Yet none of them inspired fear and disgust in her heart like this one.

This... Thing.

*tug* *tug*

Her... Daughter.

"Ekspwo! Ekspwo!... Uuuuu..."

~.o.~

One day, Flan found that she grew, and Louise found that she had shrunk.

Now master and familiar are off on an adventure, with Flan leading the way!

*Pi-chun!*

*Boom!*

[redacted due to heart attack inducing moe]

It has become a common occurrence, but the world was broken.

~.o.~

Cattleya was a sick girl.

She coughed and shuddered, her body was weak, and she liked animals.

Well, Big animals.

She_ Really_ liked Big animals.

She had her Lion, her tiger, her bear (Oh My!), her snake, and the other pets of her menagerie, all curled up around her at... all... times...

But this was the first time she liked something so_ small_.

"Little Louise! You're even Littler!" she cooed as she held the miniature form of her little sister.

"Auuu~ Ekspwo!"

A puff of magic nudged a cushion off of the couch the sisters were sitting on.

"Awww, how cute! Right, Mister Wriggles?"

The large anaconda merely looked at his owner and went back to sunning himself. Cattleya couldn't contain it anymore and squeezed the chibified Louise into her chest.

"AWWW! I'm so glad I'm your sister! I can take you home with me every day!"

"Au! Au! Ekp-" the pink haired miniature girl thrashed around in-between her sister's massive mammaries, only to slowly calm between the pillowy mounds.

"Auuuuu~"

Little Louise went to sleep.

The Valliere Estate's peace was broken.  
~~~


	15. ChibiFlan Dark Side

Chibi Flan DARK SIDE

Features Cattleya the Merciful [Killer]

~o.o.o~

"Flan, Over here!"

Retiring from a Wonderful playdate with the Duke (one he barely survived, even with his self-healing skills), Flan found herself answering the summons of the Middle Valliere daughter, who had Louise on her lap at the table on the rear pavilion of the estate. On it were many cute cakes and other treats, all waiting to be eaten.

"Cattleya!" The Vampire flew down and landed gracefully in the seat across from the two sisters.

The spread was amazing, each cake cuter than the next, many all shaped like cute animals or stuffed toys. It was a saccharine world of sweet treats, liable to give you diabetes five different ways at once. Cattleya gracefully poured some tea for everyone, using a specially sized teacup and plate ensemble for the miniaturized Void Mage, and placed a cute, fluffy cat-face-shaped bun on each plate.

As Louise used her hands to eat it, the "Sickly" sister stared deep into Flan's eyes, almost as if to tell her something. Then she deliberately raised her fork and brought it down onto the pastry.

"Ah! Please! No~" the fork pressed against the top of the "head" as slowly it began to deform. "It hurts it hurts it hurts please stop no~~~" Cattleya continued, with a crazed smile only Flan could witness. Stopping mid-bite, the voice alone was enough to unsettle Little Louise, who only could contribute with a terrified "Uuu! Uuu!"

Finally the cat-shaped pastry broke, and Cattleya began to actually eat it.

All the while, Louise shivered in fear from where she sat, unable to eat another bite of the food.

Seeing that Flan was still sitting there, the busty pinkette remarked in a cutesy voice, "It was almost too cute to eat!"

To the middle Valliere sister's delight, a smile even more deranged than the one that graced her face answered, and a similarly twisted voice echoed her earlier comment. "Almost..."

The two monsters ladies dug into their meal, all while Louise wondered why the food was ever so... red.

~o.o.o~

Night of the "Merciful" Kill...~

"I don't hate _Men._ I love Father, don't I? I just hate those who... take my _Kittens _away from me" Cattelya, to Karin on the subject of Marriage.

"I starting to think that letting Daphne and Amethyst babysit Cattleya years ago was a bad idea..." - Karin, to Duke Valliere.

"Is there something with "our" family and vampires?"- Duke Valliere to Karin, moments before being blasted.

~o.o.o~

watashi no naka no, hitotsu no,

tango wo nandomo, nandomo, nandomo,

nandomo mujinzou ni kurikaeshi,

kurikaesu, kurikaeshi

kurikaeshi utau

Inside of me, There's one word to describe it,

Endlessly, Endlessly, Endlessly,

it Endlessly and Tirelessly repeats,

Repeats, Repeats

The Screaming Repeats.

~ 緋色月下、狂咲ノ絶 1st Anniversary Remix, EastNewSound

~o.o.o~

"Now now, Écuyer Laval, I warned you last time, didn't I?" Cattleya's ever smiling face's gentleness seemed out of place in the darkened alley. Before her, with an earthen spike driven through each hand and pinning him to the wall, a brown-haired man before her stood upon his tip-toes. Dressed in bloodstained finery, the noble before her cursed and spat at the Valliere, but without his wand, and in his current position, there was nothing else he could do. In addition to the earthen spikes holding him against the wall, a column of stone cupped his nether-regions from below, rising from between his feet. The pillar was held so high as to barely put pressure upon his genitals, as long as his feet stayed still. The pink-haired lady continued her monolouge. "I don't like it when you touch my girls..."

Interrupting her musings, the sword-bearing nobleman once again spat at her. "She was just a dirty commoner. I don't see why you *argh* are getting so worked up about *ARGH*"

A quick dodge and flick of the wrist later, Laval found Cattleya putting ever so much more pressure upon his... Jewels... as the cup contracted and rose ever so slightly. Delicately, the female noble waved her wand as she daintily stepped to Laval's other side.

"*giggle*'Dirty commoner' or not'... All the girls that live on Valliere lands belong to me."

The moonlight shining through the prism-like shards of Flandre's wings cast the scene in a colorful light, and a scream punctuated the night. Beads of sweat ran down Gilles Laval's face as he listened to his entourage's butchering at a blonde child's hands. They had embarked again upon another night of debauchery and went after the wrong girl, coming across a demon and the one woman they tried their hardest to avoid in this hunting ground. Under the light of the twin moons, the Middle Valliere's tranquility and cheery nature contrasted with the atmosphere and Ecuyer Laval's increasing pallor.

"And really, raping a girl to death with your sword? And masturbating upon her mutilated body? On Valliere territory? You've been quite naughty, Gilles"

Mind racing to find a way out, for an escape, the Lord of Rais tried to use his position for power. "You overstep yourself, Viscountess!" Cattleya's captive spat out, once again trying to change her mind with the subtle threats. Her smile only widened.

"I would have been forced to turn a blind eye had you confined your... proclivities to your own lands. But to take my residents? From my very domain, my kittens?"

Her victim grit his teeth even harder and tried, but failed, to bite back a scream as she made the "cup" ever tighter and higher. Walking around the restrained body of her prisoner, her pleasant expression grew even more radiant as she saw Flandre finish off the last Knight within the "raiding party". With a dramatic sigh and shake of the head, she turned back to her captive.

"But Yes, you do have a point." The pillar receded, and Laval gasped for breath. "I am only a Viscountess, unable to raise a hand against you... under normal circumstances."

Flandre was floating back now, still covered in the blood and fluids of her band of victims, but Gilles Laval focused only on catching his breath and letting his cramping legs rest. Just a bit more... his arms were getting loose. He could run...

Unseen by his eyes, Cattleya's expression finally turned dark. Her once calming smile now twisted into one as if someone slashed her cheeks apart, teeth prominently displayed as eyes glowed with an inhuman light. Her fingers found themselves entangling with her tongue as she foresaw the great release...

"I am only doing something my family would approve of. After all, these girls... are My toys. Not yours."

With that, the pillar reformed itself into a spiked cudgel and slammed itself back into its original seat, causing the noble to writhe and cry out. Gilles de Laval's screams once again pierced the night, harmonized by Cattleya's own melodic laughter, as the sounds echoed throughout the alleyway to the rooftops, to the skies; a moonlit sonata of pleasure and pain.

Catching her breath, the pink-haired noble addressed her date for the evening.

"Flan-chan? Why don't you help our guest out a bit?"

With a smile that stretched from ear to ear, the child-like vampire descended upon her newest victim, fangs and claws poised to enjoy her meal when-

*Kyuun!*

With the reflexes not unlike those of a cat, a thin earthen shield appeared between the spray of gore and the Valliere's pristine dress. Her face reset to that of tranquil disinterest, and her slight ever-gentle smile returned to its place upon her ruby-red lips.

"Ah, chippaiya..." (I screwed up), the blonde vampire-girl bemoaned, tasty snack now just a bloody smear along the wall and cobblestones.

Letting her bloodied earthen shield fall, the pink haired woman surveyed the bloodied mess covering the alleyway and with a short sigh, she turned to her compatriot and comforted her on her failure.

"Don't worry, Flandre, we still have plenty more to go..." Cheering the little one up, they left the cooling pool of blood and body parts behind.

And so the two enchanting ladies went off to enjoy the rest of their night, picking up many an eager lad along the way.

It would become a common occurrence, but many men were broken.

~o.o.o.o~


	16. No More Void

"You know those stories that ended with heroes dead, princesses forced to wed, and the world ultimately unsaved? Those were the happy endings." ~ Yakumo Yukari.

"I'm Jealous..."~ Mizuhashi Parsee

"The Sins of the Founder... All of Halkegina must carry that burden."

~.o.~

Til there is No More Void

~.o.~

Once, a beautiful woman loved a man. But that man betrayed her with other women by his side. Deep in Rage and Jealousy, she killed him and swore revenge on his immortal soul. A phantasmal spirit-being told her the way, to spend 21 days with a metal rod under the Bridge of Worlds. So great was her hatred, that she accepted the task. Even painted red and crowned with a burning brazier, she spent all 21 days under the bridge, never moving away, and became a youkai.

She became a Hashihime.

As she did this, her story became legend, spreading far and wide, inspiring respect, disgust, and fear.

She became a symbol of death and the afterlife, a unrelenting hound that hunted its victims, uncaring for reason or pain. Soon towns saw her as a meanance, as a grim reaper, and banded together to fight her off.

Unable to live in her homeland any longer, she was exiled beyond the Gate.

There, she maintained her vigil, watching her lover burn in in the Fires of Blazing Hell.

6000 years later, she would return.

Anubis.

Mizuhashi Parsee.

"Sasha. The First Gandálfr."

~.o.~

"Derflinger... I see you're still alive."

"S...Sash...Sasha!" The shopkeeper couldn't beleive the scene in his shop. "It... It's been 6000 years, huh, Master?"

The unholy green tint in the former elf's eyes illuminated the room.

"6000 years since I stabbed that lying and cheating bastard of a husband, Brimir, in the chest with you?"

The noise that emanated from her throat could have been called a chuckle, had the noise not inspired such fear and disgust in all who heard it.

"Yes, Yes it has..."

~.o.~

Parsee looked at the forces arrayed against her, and the pope that led them.

Another Void Mage.

What a Laugh.

"You know, The only reason Brimir bested me the first time was because he was that I knew no magic, and he promised to love and to hold, as my lover. My husband."

Green orbs and a doppeldanger appeared around her.

"I've learned a lot of tricks in 6000 years."

She looked over the army arrayed against her, the army that worships that damned male. The Pope of the church, the group of fanatical followers. They LOVED HIM ... SO MUCH. THEY...

"Ooooh... I'm Jealous!"

~.o.~

Elves are Persian. Parsee is Persian. Elves have pointed ears. Parsee has pointed ears. Sasha could not do magic. Parsee became a Youkai, and has obtained magic.

Sasha is a Tsundere. Parsee is a Parudere.

There is no happy ending.

Not 'Til there is No More Void.

The Founder can't save you now.

* * *

AN: Lol. I know that Sasha wasn't said to be anything other than Brimir's lover, but that's the story of the Hashihime. I'm not sure about the "unable to cast magic" part though, as I remember somewhere saying that but some people on the forum disagree. Anyway, after this snip there's a good end and a bad end. Bad end… Well. I'll leave it to your imagination. Good end: Sasha/parsee decides that Louise reminds her enough of her child to stay a bit and not kill/mind-rape everyone with jealousy.

* * *

No More Void, Good Side.

~.o.~

"I didn't agree to be your familiar because I like you or anything!"

It was a rough day for the Young Valliere. First a great commotion was made when she summoned the elf, but after everything had calmed down (and all the teachers subdued) the elf decided to allow herself to be bound as a familiar.

Only after the elf-woman made ludicrous claims, like being the Founder's wife and Original Familiar, being a "youkai" and not an elf, or even being her anscestor!

It wasn't possible, was it?

It was here in the headmaster's office, surrounded by most of the teachers, that Louise felt a sense of security. Elf, or not, the power and magic she held were real, far scarier than even that of legend. Thinking back at the fight, Louise recalled that for the elf, a mere bite of the thumb rendered most of the forces allayed against her into a jumble of backstabs and catfights.

"The power to manipulate jealousy" she explained after all the mages were incapacitated...

"If you... 'don't like Miss Valliere or anything,' Why did you become her familiar, Elf?" The headmaster's demand snapped the young pink haired mage back to attention in the tense room. "According to your claims, you were once bound before, and killed the Founder for it. Why did you let yourself be so again?"

The enchanting blonde shifted, causing many hands to grip their wands tighter, and for the Elf's clothes to shift just enough to reveal a well-endowed chest.

"I killed that Bastard because he was cheating on me. Not because he bound me like a common _animal,_ but as his wife, finding out that he has fathered three children with my closest friends as he plotted to kill MY child kind gives me the right, don't you think?"

The murmurings amongst the gathered teachers reached a climax as one drew his one and exclaimed

"BLASPHEMY! There is no way the Founder-"

"Shut Up." The glowing green eyes silenced the man in his tracks. "It's been for over 6000 years that I have watched over My husband's soul in hell, Ensuring that he burned for his sins for all of eternity. The petulant cries of infants that know nothing should be silenced… worm."

~.o.~

Don't know where I'd take this.

Some more background on this world.

SB member: Alternatively, did [brimir] want to get married, or was it a yandere wedding at Derflinger-point?

Me: ParuParu will claim it was "his" (brimir's) idea and that he proposed. I like to think it was a Yandere wedding.

I'm not sure about canon, In-story, though, the fact will be that the only way Brimir was not getting executed for kidnapping and rape (as he stole Sasha away and bound her to him in a way that is similar to rape by circumstance, and close enough to rape for Elven society) was to Marry her by elven traditions. So Brimir and Sasha went adventuring as "husband and wife" in order to cover their "master and familiar" relationship. Being the Parudere she is, she tsuntsuns through the relationship and bore the first child after the defeat of the Valriag (or whatever they're called). It was a girl, half elf.

Brimir went messing around on the side and knocked up 3 other women, which was how the 3 sons of Brimir came to be.

Paru-paru was going to forgive him, as not only the girls, but her own daughter begged her not to, but she still was on the cusp of Yandere-rage afterwards.

When Brimir did the ritual and was going to genocide elves, it wasn't her duty to her people that she killed him.

She became so jealous of him and the other three women. If he succeeded, her child would be killed, and Sasha, her people, and her child, would basically be erased from history.

She saw this as Brimir choosing the other women over her, his wife. She kills him, but her jealousy knows no bounds... and she goes Hashihime eventually.

Not sure if I'm going to work this in, but Sasha daughter is going to be the beloved elder sister, and the original disconnect between the 3 kingdoms and Romalia will be the fact that Brimir's apprentice jumps the gun and uses his part of the void or some other magic to erase ... I'll just call her Paru-musume for now... Paru-musume's memories of her family, reducing her to just an exotic girl in an unfamiliar place, and promptly sells her off/gets rid of her.

She doesn't have a very happy end after that, but eventually Paru's line gets bred back into the Valliere line (3 generations ago), Tristain and Albinon (6 generations ago), and many other noble lines.


	17. No More Void Good Side

No More Void, Good Side.

AN: For those of you who don't know, this is the third update in 2 days. Chapter 15 is ChibiFlan 1.5 (it happens between chibiflan 1 and 2, with an "epilogue snip" that happens basically around/after chibiflan 2), and chapter 16 is ChibiFlan Dark!Side, which happens after all the chibiflan snips, but it takes a turn for the dark. And a bit gory.

~paruparuparu~

"I didn't agree to be your familiar because I like you or anything!"

It was a rough day for the Young Valliere. First a great commotion was made when she summoned the elf, but after everything had calmed down (and all the teachers subdued) the elf decided to allow herself to be bound as a familiar.

Only after the elf-woman made ludicrous claims, like being the Founder's wife and Original Familiar, being a "youkai" and not an elf, or even being her anscestor!

It wasn't possible, was it?

It was here in the headmaster's office, surrounded by most of the teachers, that Louise felt a sense of security. Elf, or not, the power and magic she held were real, far scarier than even that of legend. Thinking back at the fight, Louise recalled that for the elf, a mere bite of the thumb rendered most of the forces allayed against the her into a jumble of backstabs and catfights.

"The power to manipulate jealousy" she explained afterwards...

"If you... "don't like Miss Valliere or anything" Why did you become her familiar, Elf?" The headmaster's demand snapped the young Valliere's attention back to the tense room. "According to your claims, you were once bound before, and killed the Founder for it. Why did you let yourself be so again?"

The enchanting blonde shifted, causing many hands to grip their wands tighter, and for the Elf's clothes to shift just enough to reveal a well-endowed chest.

"I killed that Bastard because he was cheating on me. Not because he bound me. As his wife, finding out that he has fathered three children with my closest friends as he plotted to kill MY child kind gives me the right, don't you think?"

"BLASPHEMY! There is no way the Founder-"

"Shut Up." The glowing green eyes silenced the teacher in his tracks. "It's been over 6000 years that I have watched over My husband's soul in hell, Ensuring that he burned for his sins for all of eternity. You aren't even an infant in my eyes, worm"

~paruparuparu~

It's an old one. No more Void, Parsee as Sasha. Good Side: She didn't murder Louise for summoning her.


	18. Tsukaima no Wan Wan! - Inusakuya

Tsukaima no WAN-WAN

Summon: Inu-sakuya.

* * *

It was breakfast and one maid-apron wearing knee-high girl's stomach let out a low growl.

Louise's familiar merely looked at the plate of gruel before her and sighed in disdain.

This food wasn't even fit for a dog.

To everyone's amazement, the dog-eared girl climbed onto the bench and put the watery mess onto the table in front of her master before disappearing in a flash. Before the dining hall could burst into laughter and rumor, the Silver-haired familiar was once again beside her master, this time with a dead wild boar, three times her size held above her head with one arm.

"Wan. Wan wan."

With a swish of her tail and a glint of steel, the boar was skinned and dressed before the students' very eyes. Fires seem to leap into being inside one of the hearths used normally to keep the hall warm during the winter, and soon the boar was roasting away upon a spit that no-one seemed to recall was ever there.

Louise began to speak up, knowing that the meat would never be done before class, when the raw boar became wonderfully roasted in a blink of an eye.

Before she could ask what happened, her familiar had already torn off a large piece of the boar and held it out in her hand.

"Have some" the blank look on the dog-girl's face seemed to say.

* * *

Louise had a problem.

Even now, days after the summoning, she had not successfully named her familiar.

It wasn't that she hadn't tried calling the diminutive dog-maid different names, but it was clear that the white-haired girl just didn't respond to any of them.

She could shout names until her voice went hoarse, but at the slightest call of "Dog!", "Maid!" or "Familiar!" had the dog-girl appear next to her, seemingly out of nowhere. While the situation frustrated the young mage, she accepted the fact that maybe her animal-like familiar already had a name that it would respond to.

And so here the master-and-familiar pair was, in the library, poring over a book of names.

"Clarence?"

"Wan." A negatory response, with a cold look.

"Alana?"

"Wan." Even colder this time. Louise's patience was whittling away, they had been at this for hours. But founder damn it, she swore she'd find out the dog-eared maid's name, and she meant it!

So she pressed onwards.

"Sala?"

"WAN WAN!" Approval?

"Sala is your name?"

Her familiar's shake of the head told her otherwise, but from the positive reaction, Louise knew she was on to something.

Before her, the familiar began to explain.

"Wan-Wan… Wan, Wan. WAN… wan." The white haired girl said, putting her paws hands together and splitting them apart, emphasizing with her right hand on the first WAN of each pair.

Louise thought over it for a moment, and understood.

"SA! Your name starts with "Sa"!"

In a moment, the pink haired noble felt all the stress, frustration, and disappointment melt away as her familiar leaped into her face and wrapped its arms around her neck, while snuggling against her in approval. Louise returned the embrace and used her hands to scratch behind the silver-haired girl's dog-ears eliciting a vigorous happy tailwag in response.

It would take another hour or so, but Louise eventually found out her familiar's name.

"Sakuya".

(Then she had another happy petting session as a reward. Years later, Louise would confess that such sessions would be her favorite way to spend a Day of the Void…)

* * *

"You're Fouquet".

It all made sense. That was what Sakuya's bared teeth meant, her growls and gesticulations all were warnings of the Secretary's dual faced nature.

Louise found herself wishing for the umpteenth time that her familiar could just talk normally. But that would be silly, as no other familiar of her class could do so, right?

"Hmmm... I see that you've figured out my ruse. I guess I'll have to kill you all now. Pity that you couldn't disenchant the Book of Knowledge. Looks like I'll have to try again with a party of third years..."

The theif's words trailed off as she noticed that her hand, which held the captured wands of the mages and the book against the table was now in contact with nothing but air.

And before her, the bastardized form of Human and Canine stood, blankly staring at her almost as in dismissal.

To the amazement of everyone there, the diminutive maid opened the book with struggle at all, flipped past a few pages and did what seemed like an imitation of reading.

"Wan... Wan!"

With that Miss Longueville disappeared.

And reappeared, knocked out, bursting out of the stone wall of the rickitey house they were in.

The trio of remaining mages looked on with glassy-eyed gazes.

Seeing the need for an explanation, the Dog-girl pointed at the book and then at the hole in the wall Fouquet had re-appeared in, while pantomiming flipping the pages.

"Wan".

Seeing that they still could not comprehend her simple explanation, Sakuya grabbed a broom, did a flip, and flew a way.


	19. Okuu - 10 Evil Suns

_**Some Summons Just Want to Watch the World Burn**_

* * *

Siesta.

Tarbes.

Albion.

Army.

Farm.

Destroyed.

_Siesta_.

...

Dead.

The verdant hills and serene forests that the commoner maid's family so happily showed her now were pockmarked spans of scorched earth; such a violent change that Louise just couldn't comprehend it. What once was houses and buildings were now ruins: barely standing fragments of order that tried to hold on as a testament to the lives that had ended inside of them. Albion's Armada had already arrived. And Tarbes, at least the one that the Master and Familiar pair knew, was no longer.

It was too late. The Bombardment had started. Even with her familiar flying her there, she had been too late to warn the residents. Too late to save them.

Her maid, her friend, her confidant... The only one in the entire academy she could talk to without fear. Dead.

_Dead_.

Killed.

Because she failed.

Because she, Louise Françoise le Blanc de La Vallière, was a _failure._ Again.

It felt so... empty. She knew that the pinprick pains in her eyes were the prelude to tears, that the tightness in her chest a precursor to sobs... but still she sat there, collapsed in the dirt, before the ruined fields and farms of Tarbes feeling nothing but the void in her soul.

"burn them"

Her voice was shaky. The Hell Raven barely noticed the sound as she looked over the grounds.

"Unyuu?"

"Burn them." Louder this time. Still not comprehending her words, Louise's summon cocked her head.

"I Said Burn Them!" Tears clearly glistening in the mage's eyes, her voice was pained and crazed. "Burn them till there is nothing left! You said you have the power of a god! What good is it when we couldn't save Siesta!?"

"Unyu...?"

"We.. We couldn't save her, Okuu! We _failed_. Do you understand!? We. Failed! She's dead! _Dead_..."

The youkai just stared back, confusion apparent on her face. Once again her familiar made her so fustrated. Calm down, she told herself, Siesta wouldn't...

Siesta was dead.

Dead...because they couldn't save her.

".. she... she said you had the power of the sun...heh...yeah right, just small balls of light and flame... and explosions. Just explosions... the fires weren't even remarkable... the Familiar is a reflection of the mage right? Makes sense. You're just as worthless as I am... _useless_... power.."

"My power... unyu?" the Hell Raven slowly repeated "You... you mean... Fuse?"

With that, it was as if understanding had dawned upon the black-winged girl. Okuu finally understood. Her master wanted her to Fuse in the Sky... to show everyone the power of the sun! Finally, she could cut loose! She nodded affirmatively to her master and took off into the sky, eager to show off her true powers for the first time.

There the dragoons, soilders and ships all threw what pale imitation of Danmaku they could at the ever-dodging juggernaut. And in those blissful moments when they scoffed at the single being in front of them, they heard what would soon be the most infamous and terrifying "prayer" ever.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Her master's orders were all that she needed.

**_Lord Yatagarasu, the Black Sun._**

Okuu took off like a rocket. Shooting into the sky and making a beeline for her waiting audience. Oh what a wonderful master, to have prepared such a grand stage for the unveiling of the magic that is Fusion!

**_Thank you for giving me your power._**

Dragons and mages tried to shoot what magic they had at the demon-bird, but she just plowed straight through them, shielded by a glowing blue aura that seemed to burn everything away.

**_The sunlight that rains down on the Earth_**

As she drew closer and more enemies began to focus on her, the embodiment of the three-legged crow began to bob and weave, ducking and dodging that could barely be called a pitiful facsimile of Danmaku.

**_is a nuclear furnace that will create new atoms._**

Still, the swarm of enemies grew thicker, and the showers of magic soon were accompanied by sprinkles of grapeshot. Seeing that her pacifist start-up was done, Utsuho obliged her audience with a bulletshow of her own

**_My ultimate nuclear fusion will burn up_**

The armada converged on the caretaker of the Subterranean Sun, closing off all avenues of escape, despite the losses they took and fear of the humanoid figure's attacks. To their relief, the orbs of yellow-white light ceased.

**_every body, heart, ghost, and fairy!_**

Their dedication and hubris would cost them.

Spellcard

**焔星「十凶星」****!**

Ten Evil suns.

Ten stars to scorch the sky.

Ten lights to warm the world.

More than anyone, the Yagatarasu knew of these ten fires in the sky. Each of these were celebrated, lauded, the ten sons of the Emperor of Heaven and his consort, they were the princes of the sky.

One day day for each of them in the Chinese calender, so they were allowed to cross the sky one at a time. But they grew selfish, tired of only making the journey once a week, and all alone... so one day appeared together.

Rivers dried, fields baked, the punishing rays caused all that was caught beneath them to erupt into flames.

At behest of their father, a spirit, a god, tried to frighten them off with a bow and arrow, but eventually just shot them from the sky, one by one, till there was only one left.

Expelled from heaven by the suns' father, he was forced to live and die as a mortal.

But still, the story of the 10 suns remained. And while the world recovered, it was never forgotten, the story of the 10 Evil Suns.

And the Yagatarasu couldn't forget.

He was the only -son-, no, _sun _to survive.

Today, he shall honor his fallen bretheren, and "En_light_en" this world of Halkegina of their existence.

Now, the Armada of Albion would be witness firsthand to a fraction of their powers.

May the legends of the pain and suffering that will be felt today never fade.

May those that survive never forget.

_Ten Evil Suns._


	20. Tewi: Rabbit of Halkeginarrrrggghhhh

Tewi makes a comeback. Inspired by this pic: i. imgur BtXdb. jpg? 1

Remove the spaces and go~

* * *

"Oh don't be such a_ baby_!"

The infuriating smirk on the humanoid rabbit's face would have enraged anyone in their right mind, a sort of taunting face that would all sense of seriousness and dignity from the target. But even here, being openly mocked and humiliated on_Human_ lands, the captured elven knight could not invoke his ire.

Rather, Bidashal was afraid for his life.

He, a proud member of the Elven race, a famed Wizard with great skill and power even within that elite society, had never felt the sharp spikes of freezing fear that now seemed to be pulsing from within his heart. So sure of his power before, that the bony hands of apprehension that suffocated him now were the stuff of fiction, relegated to the tales and legends surrounding Shaitian. So secure in his standing, that the throes of anxiety were considered "The Human Nature". divorced entirely from his mighty race's existence. The Luxuries of being on top of the Food Chain, of being stewards of magic and the world itself. To be the Alpha Wolf.

Apex Predator.

Captured by a _Rabbit_.

"There's nothing to fear, right, oh Great Elf Lord?" The wobbling knife perched on top an extended finger only added to the satirical tone. "After all, you said that you were better in every which way~" at that, with a giggle and a flick, the knife went twirling about into the air, tumbling handle-over-point as it arced up ... then down, point burying itself two centimeters into the captured elf's right shoulder.

The restraints didn't even creak as the captive thrashed about in his bonds. His scream strangled by the gag meant to prevent him from committing suicide as the arced point of the small bade dug deeper and deeper with every twitch.

How did it turn out this way? One moment he had just finished eliminating one of the intruders by reversing her own fire spell upon her, redirecting the flames to cook her lungs, the next a flurries of light showered down from multiple directions as more intruders came to the aid of their fallen comrade. Then a fire-spirit that he couldn't beseech tore through his protective shield of "firstborn magic" and he woke up here, trussed up in otherworldly restraints and suspended from the ceiling.

Before him, Tewi had no qualms about letting her glee contort her face in front of the horrified eyes of her master's captive. To take satisfaction in the capture and torment of the one who decimated Tabitha's Rescue part felt as a fitting revenge for the fallen rescuer.

Statistically, such an outing was a success. The smallest casualty in a battle against the elves in many centuries, and a princess rescued. But Statistics rarely pay tribute to the true nature of the conflict. Of the 10 intrepid adventurers who left Tristain, only nine had made it back. The fiery soul that was Kirche Augusta Frederica von Anhalt Zerbst burned brightly before she was finally extinguished.

Turning back to the testing material, Tewi continued with her little rant.

"You know, Mr. Elf, I was a little bunny rabbit a long time ago. A cute, fluffy, _Gullible_ little white rabbit."

She pulled the knife out just enough so that the blade, when used, would not cut into the muscle. No, to cut through muscle, sinew, and organs would defeat the purpose of using such a knife. A Skinning Knife.

"Do you know what happens to Gullible Little White Rabbits, Mr. Elf? Do you?"

Bishadal, still becoming acquainted with the throes of abject terror, shook his head, his pleading muffled and mangled by the gag into pitiful garbled whines.

"The little white rabbit, barely escaped from being eaten by the Big Mean Shark, lay on the ground screaming in pain as her fur had been torn off."

The thrashing increased as the blade drew a fresh red line down the captive's back, mirrored by the fervor of muffled cries.

"A prince appears to save the day, to put the Little White Rabbit out of her misery."

Another line, this time perpendicular to the last. The Earth Rabbit waits for her victim to stop convulsing from the pain.

"Gullible Little White Rabbit listens to the prince. Do you know what happens? **Do you know what happens**!?"

All the response Tewi got was muffled sobs and stifled whimpers. No matter.

"He took her to salt water and had her take a bath. With no skin on!:

At that last phrase, the White Rabbit of Good Luck reached for the corner of skin at the intersection of the two lines she just carved, ready to

"**Tewi! What by the Light of the True Moon are you doing with my Test Subject!?**"

Tewi turned around and quickly put the knife away before ducking out of the medical lab. Eirin shook her head and walked over to her research material to check him over and clean up. The silver haired "Scientist" turned to face her patient, and with an apologetic look reached for the healing salve.

"I'm sorry about that. It seems my Rabbit has taken an interest in you. We may need to start the "treatment" sooner than I said before..."

Outside the door, Tewi smiled.

The Great Brain of the Moon had calculated perfectly the most efficient experiment schedule to do on the captured Elven subject that would ensure continued survival for future tests. By showing "Interest" in the subject in question, Eirin was forced to re-evaluate her original plan for only needing one "test subject," and allowing for proper healing and rest before subsequent experiments. After all, with Tewi's interest could skew data, invalidate results, or even result in loss of the test subject. And since she would have to get another "guinea pig" as insurance now anyway, that made Bidashal_ Expendable_. Which meant that the Brain of the moon could expedite her research, and increase the chance of a "loss of subject". After all, more data was always better, no?

Granted, given the abbreviated healing times, the fact that the elf would never fully recover and be left in exquisitely excruciating pain for the rest of his limited lifespan, but it was not like any data would be too compromised by that added variable.

Tewi left the tower confident that not only would the Elf that wronged her would die, but he would not die before he suffered as much as his body could take, ensured by all magic and medicine short of the Hourai elixir.

i. imgur ojeTG. jpg


End file.
